Photographer: Irina Ionesco

Picture yourself walking down a pitch black alley on a cold and wet evening. The smell of garbage is in the air and you are traveling in one of the most dangerous areas of town. A loud noise is heard and an individual emerges from the dark. You turn to find yourself face-to-face with a man. Not just any man, but someone who has the intention of causing you bodily harm.

This is a situation that most people want to avoid. And of the individuals you could possibly run in to, we’ll be counting down nine of the worst. Oh, and if you were looking for a little reassurance: they all remain at large and their whereabouts aren’t known.

Joshua Blahyi or General Butt Naked is a former Liberian warlord. In 1989, the First Liberian Civil War began and Blahyi became a commander on the side of Roosevelt Johnson. During the war, Blahyi led his troops into battle wearing only shoes and his gun. For this reason he was given the name General Butt Naked. Joshua Blahyi claims to have been visited by the devil and routinely practiced satanic rituals. During the First Liberian Civil War he was a dangerous and brutally violent individual. There are some shocking quotes attributed to General Butt Naked. He would routinely sacrifice a human victim before entering into battle. “Usually it was a small child, someone whose fresh blood would satisfy the devil.” and “Sometimes I would enter under the water where children were playing. I would dive under the water, grab one, carry him under and break his neck. Sometimes I’d cause accidents. Sometimes I’d just slaughter them.”

Joshua Blahyi claimed to a South African Star reporter that from the age of 11 to 25 he took part in monthly human sacrifices. Joshua Blahyi described his typical battle, “So, before leading my troops into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up, sacrifice a local teenager, drink their blood, then strip down to our shoes and go into battle wearing colorful wigs and carrying dainty purses we’d looted from civilians. We’d slaughter anyone we saw, chop their heads off and use them as soccer balls. We were nude, fearless, drunk, and homicidal. We killed hundreds of people, so many I lost count.” Blahyi claimed to be invisible during war. He led many teenagers into battle and his army often times fought in women’s clothing. Blahyi’s rampage ended in 1996, when the civil war in Liberia passed. Today, Joshua Blahyi is living in Liberia as a preacher. He is married to a pastor and has three children.

Semion Mogilevich is a Ukrainian crime boss and one of the most dangerous people in the world. He is thought to be the “boss of bosses” for most Russian mob syndicates. Mogilevich has gained the nickname “The Brainy Don” because he earned a degree in economics from Lviv University. Mogilevich allegedly controls a company that transports natural gas named RosUkrEnergo. The company is involved with a dispute in Russia, which has directly affected natural gas output in Europe. Russia provides a quarter of the natural gas used in the European Union.

You really don’t want to mess with Semion Mogilevich or any of his friends. During the 1980s, Mogilevich made millions of dollars by deceiving and stealing from Ukrainian and Russian Jews who were immigrating to Israel. Today, it is thought that Mogilevich runs an extensive empire consisting of prostitution, weapons smuggling, drug activities, and strong arm tactics. Like all organized crime groups, a large portion of money is made over the Internet and by identity theft organizations.

In 1994, Mogilevich’s business group obtained control over Inkombank, one of the largest private banks in Russia. The bank collapsed in 1998 under suspicions of money laundering, but in 1996 Mogilevich purchased a significant share in Sukhoi, a large military aircraft manufacturer. In 2009, Semion Mogilevich was placed on the FBIs Ten Most Wanted List. He is probably the most powerful Russian mobster alive today.

Matteo Messina Denaro or “Diabolik” is a Sicilian Mafioso boss and the most wanted man in Italy. In 2006, the current leader of the Cosa Nostra, a man named Bernardo Provenzano, was arrested. He was taken into custody on the same day that Romano Prodi became the Italian Prime Minister. Many high ranking gangsters were listed as possible successors to Provenzano as the Capo di tutti capi of the Sicilian Mafia. Some of these men included Salvatore Lo Piccolo, Domenico Raccuglia, and Matteo Messina Denaro. In 2007, Salvatore Lo Piccolo was arrested and two years later Raccuglia was captured near Trapani. This leaves Matteo Messina Denaro as the probable leader of the Sicilian Mafia.

Messina Denaro has the public image of a playboy and womanizer. During the early 1990s, Denaro was often times seen in Porsche sports cars and wearing clothing from Giorgio Armani and Versace. Don’t take this behavior as a weakness, because Messina Denaro is a ruthless killer and Mafioso leader. During his early years in the mob, Messina Denaro was a hit man. He is estimated to have killed at least 50 people. Denaro once bragged, “I filled a cemetery all by myself.” He became widely known in the underworld when he murdered rival boss Vincenzo Milazzo.

Messina Denaro makes his money through an extortion racket that forces businesses to pay a pizzo (protection money). He is also active in the international drug trade and involved with skimming off public construction contracts. In 1993, the Sicilian Mafia organized a strategy to attempt to make the Italian state retreat. They conducted a series of bombings in Italy. Messina Denaro was at the front of the terrorist activity and has been wanted by the Italian government since. On April 12, 2001, the magazine L’Espresso put Denaro on the cover with the headline, Ecco il nuovo capo della mafia (Here is the new boss of the Mafia). Since 2008, the Italian government has seized approximately 1.4 billion Euros from public businesses associated with the Italian mafia.

Joseph Kony is a Ugandan man that is the head of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA is a sectarian Christian militant group that is based in northern Uganda. The group is currently engaged in an armed rebellion against the Ugandan government. The resistance has become one of Africa’s longest-running conflicts. The followers of Joseph Kony believe that he is the “spokesman” of God and a spiritual medium. The LRA are a violent group and have gained a reputation for horrible crimes against the citizens of northern Uganda. Since the rebellion began in 1986, over 1.6 million people have been forced to leave the area.

Joseph Kony has ordered the abduction of over 30,000 children during his reign as leader of the LRA. He likes to kidnap children, so he can brain wash them into following the ideals of the Lord’s Resistance Army. The army is full of teenage soldiers. Kony has proclaimed that if an LRA soldier paints a cross on their chest then they will be protected from bullets. He also insists that he is fighting for the Ten Commandments. In 2005, an arrest warrant was issued for Joseph Kony and other LRA leaders. His warrant includes 33 charges: 12 counts of crimes against humanity and another 21 counts of war crimes. The Ugandan government is attempting to track down and kill Joseph Kony. He has been seen in remote areas of the Central African Republic, the Sudan and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Heriberto Lazcano is the current leader of the Mexican drug cartel Los Zetas. Los Zetas is a criminal organization in Mexico that is involved with drug smuggling and other organized crime activities. In the early 1990s, an elite group of assassins from the Mexican Army were recruited by the Gulf Cartel to kill rival gang members. The assassin group became known as the Los Zetas and they were extremely effective in controlling Gulf Cartel turf. In 2003, the Los Zetas received permission from the Gulf Cartel and the Beltrán-Leyva Cartel to engage in their own drug shipments.

The Los Zetas are thought to employ many corrupt ex-federal, state, and local police officers, as well as ex-Kaibiles from Guatemala. One of the original thirty assassins recruited by the Gulf Cartel was a man named Heriberto Lazcano. Lazcano was originally appointed third in command, but after the death of Arturo Guzmán Decena and Rogelio González Pizaña, he became the leader of the Los Zetas. Another individual that we wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley is Miguel Treviño Morales, who is currently commander of Los Zetas and right hand man to Lazcano. In February of 2010, Heriberto Lazcano decided that he didn’t want to be affiliated with the Gulf Cartel any longer and a violent gang war erupted. This has made the Mexican city of Reynosa an extremely dangerous place to be.

The U.S. government considers the Los Zetas the most violent enforcement group in Mexico and they have been reported to kidnap tourists for ransom. Los Zetas have expanded their operations to Italy with the ‘Ndrangheta. Members of the cartel approach life as if they are in a war, using body armor, ballistic helmets, and their arsenal includes AR-15 and AK-47 rifles, MP5 submachine guns, grenade launchers, surface-to-air missiles, dynamite and helicopters. Lazcano is an international criminal and the United States is offering a $5 million bounty for his arrest, while the Mexican government will also give $2 million for details leading to the capture of Heriberto Lazcano.

6. The Grim Sleeper

Grim Sleeper is the nickname given to an unidentified serial killer living in the Los Angeles, California. Since 1985, the Grim Sleeper is thought to be responsible for 13 murders and one attempted murder. The victim that escaped from the Grim Sleeper described him as a “thin, neat, polite and well-groomed African-American guy.” His vehicle was reported to be an orange Ford Pinto with a white racing stripe on the hood. In May 2007, a 25-year-old woman named Janecia Peters was murdered in Los Angeles. DNA analysis conducted at the scene linked her murder to 12 other killings in the surrounding area. This produced conclusive evidence that a serial killer was loose in California. After Janecia Peters murder, the police department formed the 800 Task Force to investigate the crimes.

The LA Weekly has conducted a complete interview with the surviving victim of the Grim Sleeper. She stated that he was “a black man in his early 30s. He looked neat, tidy, and kind of geeky. He wore a black polo shirt tucked into khaki trousers.” The woman initially refused a ride from the man and he said, “That is what is wrong with you black women. You think you are all that.” The women ended up getting into the man’s car and commented on his car’s gear-shift handle, which was pimped out with a ping-pong-sized marble ball.

Specific details of the attack were not made public, but the woman was sexually assaulted and almost died as a result of her injuries. The Grim Sleeper targets black prostitutes and most of the victims are murdered by a gunshot wound to the chest. The bodies are then dumped in various alleyways throughout the Los Angeles area. The same .25 caliber handgun was linked to many of the murders. The Los Angeles police department is offering a $500,000 dollar award for information leading to the arrest of the Grim Sleeper.

Christopher Coke or “Dudus” is an alleged Jamaican drug lord and the leader of the Shower Posse gang. The Shower Posse is a Jamaican gang that is involved with drugs and guns smuggling. The posse’s home is in Tivoli Gardens in Jamaica. However, it operates in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. The Shower Posse is one of the largest Jamaican gangs in America. The gang also has a large presence in Toronto, Canada. In 2009 the United States began to demand that Christopher Coke be extradited to New York, where he would face charges of drug and weapons smuggling. The prime minister of Jamaica, Bruce Golding, initially questioned the request, but on May 17th of 2010 an arrest warrant was issued for Christopher Coke.

This has led to civil unrest in the Jamaican capital city of Kingston, where Coke is living. Since May 23, 2010, 73 Jamaican citizens have been killed and many others injured in the Kingston unrest. Four police officers have been killed and over 500 arrests have been made. Christopher Coke has not been apprehended as of May 27, 2010. On the night of May 24, the Jamaican government declared a state of emergency in Kingston. Several airlines have cancelled flights to and from Kingston and foreign governments have issued emergency warnings. Christopher Coke is the son of accused drug lord Lester Lloyd Coke. He is considered one of the world’s most dangerous drug kingpins.

In the early 1990s women of all ages began disappearing in the city of Ciudad Juárez, Mexico. It has been estimated that between 400 and 3,000 women have been brutally murdered in the Mexican city since 1993. Most of the crimes remain a complete mystery to Mexican police. The victims consist of a wide range of females, with a large majority being students and factory workers. The perpetrator tends to dump his victims in the desert and the bodies show signs of sexual abuse, torment, torture, and disfigurement. The Mexican government is attempting to find the serial killer or killers, but in the meantime they don’t like to comment on the situation.

During the first nine months of 2005, 28 women were murdered in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico. Parents living in the Mexican city feel that the government is not doing enough to stop the tide of murder, so they have formed awareness organizations to educate children on the dangers. We would think twice before taking a vacation to this part of Mexico. Recent articles have reported on a massive amount of murders in Ciudad Juárez during 2009, 2660 to be exact. The majority of the killings are drug related, but many fit the profile of the person murdering Mexican women.

Jose Luis Saenz is an American fugitive and notorious Cuatro Flats gang member. The Cuatro Flats are one of the most well known gangs in the Boyle Heights section of East Los Angeles. Cuatro claims 4th Street and their counterparts are Primera Flats, which claim 1st Street. Jose Saenz has been on the run from the police since the end of 2009 and is thought to be one of the most dangerous enforcers in the gang world. In 1998, Jose Saenz and Juan Pena executed two members of the rival East LA Trece gang. Following the murders, Saenz fled to the home of his ex-girlfriend, a woman named Sigreta Hernandez.

Saenz kidnapped, raped and murdered Sigreta Hernandez. He was charged with three counts of murder, one count of kidnapping, and one count of rape. A warrant was issued for his arrest, but the police received zero leads on his whereabouts for nearly a decade. In 2008, a Missouri state trooper pulled over two members of the Lott Stoner gang while they were traveling in a rental car. A search of the vehicle turned up $620,000 in cash. The money was wrapped and marked with the name “Toro,” which is Jose Saenz street name.

Two months after the incident, one of the men involved was killed by Saenz at his home in Whittier, California. Jose Saenz was filmed on a surveillance system camera arriving at Oscar Torres house. He chased Torres out of his front door and was seen shooting him several times in the head. Jose Saenz is currently on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list and is believed to be living in Mexico and working as an enforcer for a drug cartel. Saenz could be making routine trips between Mexico and the U.S. smuggling drugs. Jose Saenz is armed and dangerous and if you threaten his freedom he will kill you. The U.S. government is offering a $100,000 award for information leading to the arrest of Jose Saenz.

Written by Bryan Johnson www.weirdworm.com

Dictators get a bad rap these days. People think that being a dictator is all about crushing your enemies, oppressing the masses and carrying out ethnically targeted genocide campaigns, but it isn’t. There’s more to being a dictator than bullying and brutality. In fact, most dictators are actually pretty fun guys. Some of them, on the other hand, are just plain bonkers.

Let’s take a look at the brighter side of some of history’s most bizarre and cruel men. Here are some fun and interesting facts about dictators.

Idi Amin Dada, a former heavyweight boxing champion, was the military dictator and self-appointed president of Uganda during the 1970s. When he took control of the small African country back in 1971 the people hailed him as a hero. However, they could not have know what kind of man their glorious General would prove himself to be. Maybe the pressures of leadership got to him because pretty soon he began to act very strangely indeed.

Of all Amin’s larger than life characteristics, his ego is perhaps the most famous. He awarded himself many titles and honours, eventually styling himself as ‘His Excellency, President for Life Field Marshall Al Hadj Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC. Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular’. This made him one of the most powerful men in the world, in his own mind at least. But there was one title he did not award himself – that of king. This is not to say that he did not wish to be a king, however. He is rumored to have sent a love letters to Queen Elizibeth II of England, proposing marriage and even that he be made King of Scotland. This is a strange thing for any man to do, especially one known to have despised the British. Of course, Queen Elizabeth did not return Amin’s affections. Perhaps she was turned off by the knowledge that he was a polygamist, amongst other things. He is known to have married at least six women throughout his life, one of whom was found dead, her body horrifically mutilated, after falling pregnant to another man. Amin is also thought to have fathered as many as 43 children.

Since Amin’s death in exile rumors have been abound that he enjoyed eating the flesh of his enemies, however there is very little evidence to suggest that this is true.

Adolf Hitler is one of the most infamous names in history. The dictator and Furer of Nazi Germany is remembered as one of the most nefarious characters ever to wear a moustache. As a ruthless dictator and mass murderer he is considered by some to have been the embodiment of evil. Yet despite this – or perhaps because of it – he is also the most caricaturised and ridiculed historical figures of all time, appearing in more comedy shows and cartoons than Count Dracula and George Bush combined. We consider this to be a form of punishment, assuming that such a serious and egotistical man would hate being mocked and belittled so. However, this could not be further from the truth. Hitler was a great lover of comedy, the slapstick shenanigans of English comic Charlie Chaplin in particular. When Chaplin released his feature film ‘The Great Dictator’, in which he impersonated and publicly ridiculed the Furer, Hitler was not insulted in the least. In fact, he was said to have been amused and flattered by the performance. Add his winning sense of humour to the fact that he was also a vegetarian and an amateur painter, and you start to realize that Hitler wasn’t such a simmering pot of hatred and evil as history has made him out to be, more of a self deluding, misguided, genocidal buffoon. It is also thought that his failings as an artist may have been a causal factor of his genocidal tendencies. When VanGogh was frustrated he cut off his own ear, Hitler exterminated six million Jews instead.

So what about the rumors that Hitler only had one ball? Well, opinion seems to be divided on this. Many historians believe that this little nugget was nothing but propaganda and that it was first introduced into the public consciousness by way of the popular song, originally entitled ‘Goering has only got one ball’. However, there is evidence that Hitler did suffer a groin injury during the First World War and that his left testicle was indeed removed by army medics.

Almost as bad as those of Hitler, the crimes committed by Soviet dictator Josef Stalin are often forgotten in the Western world. During his great purge nearly two million people were killed with many more being deported or sent to the torturous gulag detention camps. But while that statistic might have looked impressive on Stalin’s resume it tells us little about what he was like in person. Here are some things you probably don’t know about Josef Stalin.

First of all, did you know that Josef Stalin wasn’t his real name but a pen name? With his real name being unpronounceable he took to using this pseudonym back in the days when he was a political activist, possibly in an attempt to hide his Georgian roots. It means ‘man of steel’. After his rise to power, popular nicknames for Stalin in the Soviet Union included ‘Papa Stalin’ and ‘Little Father of the Peoples’, owing to the fact that he was only 5foot 4inches tall. President Truman once described the despot as a ‘little squirt’. Personally, I wouldn’t have called him this to his face; Stalin was notoriously sensitive about his height, having several portrait painters shot for failing to capture his godliness. If this wasn’t enough of a handicap for a dictator, a carriage accident in his youth had also left his left arm shortened and stiffened at the elbow, while his right hand was thinner than his left and frequently hidden.

Despite being a grumpy little man, Stalin was also the man behind the most wicked practical joke ever played. Being a very private man he gave the order that no person should enter his bed chambers on pain of death. Later, while in his chambers he decided to test whether his guards had listened to this instruction. Pretending to scream in pain he called for the guards stationed outside the door. Fearing that their leader was in trouble the guards burst into the room. Stalin had them executed for failing to follow his standing orders. This little prank soon backfired, however, when Stalin suffered a seizure while alone in his bedroom. The guards were too afraid to enter, finding him hours later laid in a puddle of stale urine. He died three days later.

4. Mussolini

Another of the famous world war II dictators, Mussolini was the leader of Italy’s National Fascist Party and Prime Minister of Itally. His full title was ‘His Excellency Benito Mussolini, Head of Government, Duce of Fascism, and Founder of the Empire’, but he also held the rank of First Martial of the Empire. While some consider Mussolini to have been Italy’s answer to Hitler, opinions are conflicted on this matter. While he was instrumental in the formation of the Fascist ideology and was politically allied with Nazi Germany he is said to have disliked Hitler immensely. He is also said to have had many Jewish friends and to have been opposed to the holocaust. He initially favoured siding with France against Germany but would seem to have fallen in with the wrong crowd.

An interesting fact about Mussolini is that he loved eating raw garlic, despite suffering from a painful stomach ulcer, and believed that it was the elixir of life.

And the award for most pathetic dictator goes to…

Saparmurat Niyazov, President for life of Turkmenistan from 1990 to 2007, is one of the least famous dictators of all time, partly because few people in the Western world even know where Turkmenistan is. He didn’t invade his neighboring countries, commit mass murder or do any of the things that usually win dictators the international recognition they crave. Like most dictators, however, he was absolutely bonkers.

Another thing he had in common with other dictators is the irresistible urge to rename things, towns and cities in particular. Niyazov, however, went one step further, changing the names of the days of the week and renaming calendar months after heros of the state. He even changed the word for bread, naming it after his beloved mother. What a softie.

Of course, Niyazov did more than rename things. He also introduced sweeping medical and social reforms, closing all hospitals outside of his capital and firing 15,000 public health workers. Also closed were all of the country’s internet cafes and all rural libraries. In 2006 one third of all Turkmenistan’s elderly had their pensions cancelled and were ordered by Niyazov’s government to pay back the previous two years payments. The resulting deaths through poverty, sickness and starvation may have been in the tens of thousands if not more, but Niyazov refused to admit that his policies had any ill effect on the populous.

Amongst Niyazov’s most ridiculous laws was the ban on beards, make-up for newsreaders, recorded music and the exclusion of dogs from the capital city. Aparently he didn’t like the way they smell.

Written by Mark Ball www.weirdworm.com

Across the world and throughout history there have been tales of legendary warriors who fight against all odds to defeat their foes. Often these heroes are faced with more than mere men, and are said to have interacted or fought against all manner of weird mythical creatures. Here are some of the stranger tales of how legendary warriors and weird mythical beasts have intermingled down the ages.

1. King Arthur and the Giant Cat

In Celtic mythology, a giant cat knows as the ‘Cath Palug’ is said to have terrorised the Welsh island of Anglesey. Unusual for a cat, its mother was a giant sow called Henwen and just after it was born at Llanfair in Arfon, a powerful Swine herder threw it into the sea. However this didn’t kill the Cath Palug and after making its way to Anglesey and being raised by the sons of Palug, who didn’t realise its deadly potential, it killed and ate ‘nine score warriors’.

Unfortunately for the giant cat, the legendary King Arthur was in the area hunting at the time. Arthur, who is believed to have lived (if at all) in the early 6th century is said to have come up against this fearsome creature and once again proved his worth as the king and saviour of the British Celts and succeeded were so many others had failed and killed the beast. Another legend, on the other hand states that Arthur fought the creature in France near Lake Geneva, and lost.

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2. Minamoto Yoshitsune and the Tengu

The Tengu are mythical spirits from ancient Japanese folklore that take the form of part man, part bird. Originally they were depicted with huge beaks but that has been replaced over the centuries by a ridiculous long human nose. They have human bodies and limbs and are usually depicted with large wings.

Minamoto Yoshitsune lived in the 14th century and was born into the Samurai class. When he was a young boy, his father was assassinated by a rival clan but he was allowed to live on condition he was exiled to a Buddhist temple and become a monk. One day the young Yoshitomo encountered a Tengu, who taught him the martial arts, especially how to use a sword so he would be able to seek revenge on his father’s killer when he came of age.

In Buddhism, the Tengu are traditionally seen as disruptive demons but their image has softened over the years to one of protectors of the mountains and forests, although they are still considered very mischievous. Yoshitsune’s teaching by them was originally seen as an attempt by the Tengu to cause chaos by throwing Japan into war. However, as Yoshitsune’s reputation as a legendary warrior has grown and that of the tengu softened, it now tends to be seen in a more honourable light.

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3. Beowulf and the Dragon

The poem ‘Beowulf’ tells of the adventures of the great Anglo-Saxon warrior of the same name who would not only slay a fire breathing dragon, but do it as an old man. After a slave stole a gold cup from the dragon’s lair, the creature was furious and terrorised the local area burning people and property alike. Beowulf took eleven men with him when he went to face the beast but told them not to join in as it was between him and the dragon. What’s more he was so confident that he could take a dragon in a fight that he said he’s only using his sword because the dragon could breathe fire!

When they met, the hero hit the beast on the head with his ancient sword but this just blunted the blade and made the dragon mad. He breathed out a stream of fire which hurt Beowulf, who only had his shield for protection. At this point, all his men ran away except one, Wiglaf, who rushed in to help. Beowulf again hit the creature on the head with his sword which promptly broke in two.

The dragon, now furious, bit him in the neck and shoulder, mortally wounding him but Wiglaf sliced its stomach while it was distracted. Beowulf then took his dagger and finished the beast off, however the poison in his blood proved too much for him so after making the brave young Wiglaf his successor, the most famous Anglo-Saxon hero of them all died.

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4. Gilgamesh and the Bull of Heaven

The ‘Epic of Gilgamesh’ is a Sumerian (ancient Iraqi) poem following the chronicles of a legendary king, who may or may not have existed in around 2700 BC. In one of the stories, Gilgamesh attracts the sexual advances of the goddess Ishtar, the goddess of love and war. The king refuses her as all her other mortal lovers had met with nasty ends. Infuriated, Ishtar went back to heaven and asked her father, Anu the sky god, to give her the ‘Bull of Heaven’ to wreak havoc on Gilgamesh and his city.

Anu agreed and sent the Bull of Heaven down to earth. Each time the bull breathed, its breath was so powerful that it ripped open the earth creating enormous abysses causing hundreds of people to fall to their deaths, the water to disappear and the vegetation to die. Gilgamesh and his side kick Enkidu manage to slay the beast, but not being too gracious in victory, Enkidu insulted the furious Ishtar telling her that she would be next, then he ripped a thigh off the bull and threw it in her face, something he would later pay for with his life.

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5. Odysseus and the Giant Cyclops Polyphemus

In book 9 of Homer’s ‘Odyssey’, the hero Odysseus lands on the island of Cyclopes and sets out to find supplies with twelve of his men. They find a large cave and enter but it turns out to be the home of the giant Cyclops called Polyphemus who is less than happy with the uninvited guests. He traps them inside with a large bolder but not before crushing and eating two of them, a meal he repeated the next morning and evening.

In a bid to escape, Odysseus gives the Cyclops a strong wine and gets him drunk. Polyphemus asked his prisoners name, to which he got the reply ‘no man’. When the giant passed out, Odysseus and his men used a huge club that they had secretly sharpened earlier and drove it into Polyphemus’s eye. He screamed out to his fellow Cyclopes that ‘no man’ has hurt him, thinking he had gone crazy, they left him to his fate. The next morning the surviving captives tied themselves to the underside of the giant’s sheep (who were, of course, giant sheep) and make good their escape.

Written by Andrew Griffiths www.weirdworm.com

There comes a time in every kid’s life when he starts wishing he was a brave warrior in ancient Japan cutting down hordes of treacherous ninjas like jonesing crack addicts cut random pedestrians for drug money. In many cases, the dream of becoming a samurai forever remains a fantasy, but considering all the stuff they never told you about these oriental warriors, it might have been for the best. You see…

It’s nice to imagine that after a hard day’s work of slashing worthless enemies and being honorable, a typical samurai would retire to his room to meditate on the nature of life and death while sharpening his sword in preparation for tomorrow’s murder filled activities. In reality however, most of them relaxed atop a pasty 12 year old boy clenching his teeth and hoping the “master” will be “done” with him soon.

This type or relationship, akin to the Greek pederasty, was known as Shudō (meaning “The Way of the Young”) in medieval Japan all the way up to the 19th century. It was an officially and widely encouraged form of apprenticeship between an experienced samurai and a young boy, established to form strong, basically lover-like bonds between two warriors.

Back then it was believed that sexual relations with women weakened the mind and body, but that there was nothing better for one’s battle spirit than having rough bum sex with other men… until your young partner became a full pledged warrior (i.e. an adult). That was when the butt-love stopped because it was no longer considered appropriate.

Hey, who knew that NAMBLA was founded on the principles of the samurai code?

We’ve all heard how it supposedly was with the samurai: they would sooner perform impromptu bowel surgery on themselves before bringing shame to their master by surrendering to the enemy. Unfortunately, real life very rarely was that dramatic. While you certainly can find examples of such deeply troubled individuals in the annals of Japanese history, the majority of samurai tended to change allegiances (that is “masters”) more often than most of us change our underwear.

During the Sengoku period of Japan—literally “Country at War”—dozens of small time warlords literarily tore up the countryside fighting each other, trying to gain control over the archipelago. If every guy in their ranks killed himself the minute their side lost, the entire samurai population of Japan would have been reduced to nothing more than a handful of schmucks who were out sick the day this s?*t was going down.

Coming over to the strongest guy’s camp was a pretty standard thing to do in feudal Japan, and it definitely wasn’t in bad taste to bring your former employer’s head as a present for the new boss.

Everyone who has seen “The Last Samurai” usually comes to the logical conclusion it was the cold uncircumcised sting of technology and “modernity” that killed off this proud class of Asian warriors. Because, hey, it wasn’t like almost all of the samurai have given up on warrioring decades before the West came knocking on Japan’s door, right? Right?

Yeah, about that… when the Sengoku period of Japan ended and Tokugawa Ieyasu became the undisputed ruler of a new unified country, there came an era of peace… aka the warrior’s worst enemy. With no domestic enemies to speak of and the country completely cutting itself off from the rest of the world, the samurai found themselves hungry and without work. It was the era of the masterless samurai, the Ronin, traveling the Land of the Rising Sun with a sign that read “Will be a noble fighter for food”.

There did remain a very small fraction of samurai clans but only those who were smart enough to rent themselves out as body guards to lesser royalty or wealthier guilds. The rest simply sold off their swords (the very thing they used to call their “souls”) and became either merchants or farmers. Speaking of which…

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After exploring the world of gorgeous supermodels naked in the Amazon (not the website) with our tour guide Terry Richardson, we came to the conclusion that he has a job that most men would die, or kill, for. Everyone has a vice; it could be women, cars, spirits, ice cream or music, it just depends on the individual. We set out to find the guys who are doing the things we enjoy doing on a regular basis – but they’re getting paid for it. The only thing you need to figure out by yourself is where to sign up.

Terry Richardson – Photographer

You can read all about Terry’s accomplishments and accolades while checking out the Pirelloi 2010 Calendar, but you would gladly sacrifice yourself to be him. As a final parting thought about his job, when was the last time you got to suck on the digits of the Gossip Girls? Just sayin’.

Jonathan Cutler – Brewmaster

Jonathan Cutler (middle) is the Brewmaster for Piece Brewery and Pizzeria in Chicago. Saying that Jonathan is good at his job is like saying Usain Bolt is good at running. Cutler (for his work at Piece) has earned eighteen medals (compared to Bolt’s 16) and also received the World Beer Cup Champion Small Brewery and Brewmaster Award. Jonathan is the grown-up equivalent of the Candy Man – he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Not only that, he drinks for free… all the time.

Quentin Tarantino – Director, Actor, Writer, Producer, et al.

Tarantino may be responsible for award winning films like Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill(s), and Inglourious Basterds, but he used to be a lowly clerk in a video store. He managed to turn his passion for film into one of the most successful Hollywood “bootstraps” story – without ever setting foot in a film school. If any of us were to blatantly display our foot fetish in the modern media like he does we would be excommunicated and disowned. With Tarantino it just becomes another part of his genius. Love him or hate him, he gets to do what he loves for a living… and get paid exorbitant sums of money for it.

Derek Spors – Ice Cream Scientologist

You know who Ben & Jerry are, but they didn’t make their boutique ice cream shop the global powerhouse it is all by their lonesome – they had help. Derek Spors was an “ice cream scientologist” whose sole job was the creation of new flavors for Ben & Jerry’s. He was often tasked with going to restaurants and ordering every dessert on the menu, taking trips to trendy new restaurants, and tasting ice cream all day.  Sounds like a very horrid existence. Somehow he managed to get his creations into approximately 67% of the homes in America (Ok. The statistic is made-up, but everyone loves Ben & Jerry’s so it HAS to be a big number.) and maintain relative anonymity. Granted, he’s not going to be mauled on the street for autographs, or chased by the pap – but he manages to stay socially connected with LinkedIn and a website without having a picture of himself on the Internet. That, in and of itself, may be more impressive than eating ice cream all day. On second thought, eating ice cream all day sounds pretty damn delicious.

Bill Graham – Concert Promoter

There are only a few jobs that afford you rock star luxuries (fame, fortune, drugs) without the obvious risks (disease, selling out, one-hit-wondering) and being a concert promoter is one of them. Bill Graham just happens to be one of the most famous. He ran both Fillmores and Winterland and rubbed elbows with the likes of the Stones and the Dead. Instead of buying tickets to see a concert at an overcrowded, expensive, dilapidated venue, just call the band up and have them rock YOUR venue – V.I.P. style. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig.

Jeremy Clarkson – Motoring Journalist / Car God

When you’re Jeremy Clarkson every day is casual Friday. You can wear jeans to the office every day because the office is a decommissioned airfield and hangar. Regular journalists may get special access to events or even cool new products to test. Enjoy your new wallet because Bugatti just delivered a Veyron to Clarkson so he could race it against a jet – or a Cessna – or a McLaren F1 – or drive to 253mph. Some say he refuses to drive cars that won’t spontaneously catch on fire, and he hates the smell of hair care products because it overpowers the gasoline smell. All we know is he’s called Jezzer.

Eran Egozy & Alex Rigopulos – Video Game Developers

Eran was a geek interested in music; Alex was a musician interested in geek.  They met at MIT in the Media Lab and then founded Harmonix. That is how your Friday night was born and countless millions discovered the music their parents were listening to decades before. Do they have to tell people what to do and rock out with plastic instruments on the conference room table? Yeah, they do, but they also get to play video games all day. Is there anyone that doesn’t want to play video games all day? Now that’s “star power.”

Frank Miller – Artist

Madness? MADNESS?!?!?! This. Is. A. Dream. Joooobbbbbbbbbbb. You’ve seen 300, The Dark Knight, Sin City, and probably seen something inspired by Miller’s film-noir style comics, writing, and graphic novels. He gets to set his own hours, turn down calls from Stan Lee and New Line Cinema, and leverage his words by the thousands when he turns them into pictures and movies. When asked about his inspiration, Miller had this to say – “I like to draw hot chicks, fast cars and cool guys in trench coats. So that’s what I write about.” The autobiographical graphic novel turned screenplay turned film is sure to be epic.

R. Lee Ermey – Sergeant / Gun Nut

Think Jeremy Clarkson except with guns. He transitioned from his role as a Marine Drill Instructor into starring roles in films like Full Metal Jacket and Toy Story. Now he has Lock N’ Load on the History Channel, which is basically an exploration of weapons – both primitive and modern. One week he might be shooting traditional Chinese dynasty rockets; the following he could be testing the M134D 3,000 rounds per minute Mini-Gun. Big guns, big voice, big balls – he’s not a celebrity, he’s a role model. When you fire guns and yell all day you can get away with murder…even if it involved unscrewing someone’s head and shitting down their neck. OOHRAH!

Wikipedia:

Ruslana Sergeyevna Korshunova (July 2, 1987 – June 28, 2008) was a Kazakh model of Russian descent. After establishing herself as a rising figure in the fashion industry by posing for magazines like Vogue and designers such as Vera Wang and Nina Ricci, Korshunova’s mysterious death after falling off her Manhattan apartment’s balcony on June 28, 2008 became the subject of international attention.

Early life and career

Ruslana Korshunova was born in Taldykorgan, Alma-Ata, Kazakh SSR, and was of Russian descent. Her father, Sergey Korshunov, died in 1992 when she was 5 years old. Her mother, Valentina (née Kutenkova) and her brother, Ruslan, live in Kazakhstan. She spoke fluent Russian, English and German.

She was discovered in 2003, when All Asia magazine printed a story on Almaty’s local German language club, which Korshunova was then attending. Her photograph, which was featured in the article, caught the attention of Debbie Jones of Models 1; Jones tracked down and signed up the then 15-year-old Korshunova, who was nicknamed the Russian Rapunzel for her long knee length chestnut hair in her early work. Korshunova was represented by IMG (New York, Paris, London and Milan), Beatrice (Milan), Traffic Models (Barcelona), Marilyn Models and iCasting Moscow, which was her mother agency. British Vogue hailed Korshunova as “a face to be excited about” in 2005. Korshunova modeled for the covers of French Elle and the Polish and Russian versions of Vogue. She also modeled in print-ads for Blugirl by Blumarine, Clarins, Ghost, Girbaud, Kenzo Accessories, Marithé & François, Max Studio, Moschino, Old England, Pantene Always Smooth, Paul Smith, and Vera Wang lingerie. She also appeared in a perfume commercial for Nina by Nina Ricci.

Death

On June 28, 2008 at around 2:30 p.m., Korshunova died after falling from the ninth-floor balcony of her apartment at 130 Water Street in Manhattan’s Financial District. Police stated there were no signs of a struggle in her apartment and concluded that Korshunova’s death was an apparent suicide, although no suicide note was found. One of Korshunova’s friends stated that she had just returned from a modeling gig in Paris, noting that she seemed to be “on top of the world” with no apparent reason why she would commit suicide. Korshunova planned to celebrate her 21st birthday on Wednesday in Pennsylvania. Korshunova’s former boyfriend, Artem Perchenok, stated that he dropped Korshunova off at her apartment several hours before her death after they watched the Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore film Ghost together. “I feel that she came to say goodbye,” said Perchenok. “She was a good person,” he added to The New York Post. However, Korshunova appeared brokenhearted and angry in some of her postings on a social networking site. Korshunova’s most telling message came in March 2008: “I’m so lost. Will I ever find myself?”. Friends said Korshunova had a stomachache before her death, a small complaint, but in this high-pressure world, “one little knot is the book on the shelf that makes it go down,” he said. Police said that only some prescription pill bottles were found in her apartment with Russian labels. Experts did not find traces of someone else’s skin underneath her nails. Korshunova’s mother, Valentina Kutenkova does not believe in her daughter’s suicide. “She told me about her work problems about a year ago. She said that she wanted to quit the modeling business. Everything was fine with her recently though. If she had had problems at work, she would have told me,” she said. Korshunova was close with her mother, who still lives in the Kazakh city of Almaty, where the model grew up. According to the official version, Ruslana cut the nylon net covering the façade during construction works.

After that the model allegedly climbed through the hole and jumped down. Korshunova’s mutilated body was found on the dividing strip on Water Street. To get to that part of the road from the balcony, Ruslana would have to have made a running jump. Judging by the placement of the body, the jump would have to be made from the next building. The model’s mother demanded additional investigation, but the police were not willing to show initiative. Muhammad Naqib, an old concierge who worked in Korshunova’s building shed some light on the model’s death. “I was shocked when I saw her on the pavement. She was on the road, small and pitiful, in a puddle of blood, surrounded by a crowd. Her arms and neck were broken,” the man said. Muhammad was immediately suspicious. “Only next day I realized what was wrong. It was her hair! It was much shorter than when I last saw her that night, lively and happy. It seemed like it was cut in a hurry since the ends were uneven.” “All I got is a polite ‘thank you.’ But nobody called me for an interview,” said Moscow autopsist Sergey who worked on her makeup in a Moscow morgue. “The hair could fall out because of a strong impact, but it could not become shorter. When I was preparing the body for a funeral, I noticed that the hair was in a very poor condition. I even offered to find her a wig, but her relatives refused. The ends were uneven, as if someone had cut it with scissors.” According to the testimony of many witnesses, no strangers or suspicious people were noticed on the day of Ruslana’s death in her building on Water Street. The back exit in the yard is visible to the concierge, and nobody could pass by the reception unnoticed. During her last visit, Korshunova’s mother stopped by the apartment. According to Ruslana’s friends, Valentina spent several hours at the door of the apartment. She is still hoping to find the answer from American police. On July 7, 2008, Korshunova was buried at Khovanskoye Cemetery in Moscow. Her mother stated to Russian newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda that the Russian capital was one of her daughter’s favorite cities, and that “She would want her beloved Moscow to be her last resting place.”

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weirdexistence.com

Alessandra Ambrioso för Bo.Bô AW 2010

Gisele Bundchen för Calzedonia foto Matt Jones

Dsquared² automne-hiver 2010 par Mert & Marcus

Dree Hemingway för katalog Travel 2010

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Nina Porter et Lily Donaldson par Mario Testino

Iselin Steiro, Anna Selezneva and Valerija Kelava par Mario Testino

Dolce & Gabbana

Simona Andrejic, Diana Farkhullina, Elena Melnik, Anya Kazakova and Regina Feoktistova + Simon Nessman and Oscar Spendrup par Mario Testino

Chanel Pre-Fall

Mirte Maas and Baptiste Giabiconi par Karl Lagerfeld

Tom Ford eyewear

Freja Beha Erichsen et Nicolas Mahout par Tom Ford

Prada

Angela Lindvall par Steven Meisel

Max Mara

Freja Beha Erichsen par Mario Sorrenti

YSL

Daria Werbowy par Inez & Vinoodh

Miu Miu

Lindsey Wixson, Siri Tollerod, Ginta Lapina et Daphne Groenveld par Mert & Marcus

Valentino

Freja Beha Erichsen, Monika Jagaciak et Tati Cotliar par David Sims

Calvin Klein jeans

Lara Stone par Mert & Marcus

Hermès

Constance Jablonski par Paolo Roversi

Abbey Lee Kershaw et Lara Stone par Fabien Baron

Fendi

Anja Rubik  par Karl Lagerfeld

Calvin Klein

Lara Stone par Mert & Marcus

Marc Jacobs

Monika Jagaciak, Frida Gustavsson et Ann Kenny par Juergen Teller

Balenciaga

Eliza Cummings, Freja Beha Erichsen, Julija Stepanoviciute, Kirsi Pyrohnen, Karen Elson, Meghan Collison, Mirte Maas and Stella Tennant par Steven Meisel

Roberto Cavalli

Gisele Bundchen par Mert & Marcus

Hugo Boss

Natalia Vodianova par Peter Lindbergh

Emporio Armani

Karmen Pedaru par Mario Sorrenti

Stella Tennant et Guy Robinson

Chloé

Raquel Zimmermann par Inez & Vinoodh

Sasha Pivovarova par Mert & Marcus

Kenzo

Lily Donaldson, Sasha Pivovarova and Ben Hill par Mario Sorrenti

Raquel Zimmermann, Nikola Jovanovic et Joan Smalls par Mert & Marcus

Donna Karan

Karlie Kloss par Patrick Demarchelier

Oscar De La Renta

Karlie Kloss par Craig Mc Dean

Giorgio Armani

Edita Vilkeviciute par Mert & Marcus

Stella McCartney

Natalia Vodianova par Mert & Marcus

Sisley

Ashley Smith par Terry Richardson

Crédit photos / vidéos : Marc Ecko - Source : TMZ

Marc Ecko.

• Gisele Bündchen

  25 millions de dollars.

• Heidi Klum

  16 millions de dollars.

• Kate Moss

  9 millions de dollars (+ 500.000 dollars).

• Adriana Lima

  7,5 millions de dollars (- 500.000 dollars).

• Doutzen Kroes

  6 millions de dollars.

• Alessandra Ambrosio

  5,5 millions de dollars (- 500.000 dollars).

• Natalia Vodianova

  5,5 millions de dollars.

• Daria Werbowy

  4,5 millions de dollars.

• Miranda Kerr

  4 millions de dollars (+ 1 million de dollars).

• Carolyn Murphy

  3,5 millions de dollars (- 500.000 dollars).

Numéro 1 - Beyoncé Knowles, 28 ans : 87 millions de dollars

Numéro 2 - Britney Spears, 28 ans : 64 millions de dollars

Numéro 3 - Lady Gaga, 24 ans : 62 millions de dollars

Numéro 4 - Miley Cyrus, 17 ans : 48 millions de dollars

Numéro 5 - Taylor Swift, 20 ans : 45 millions de dollars

Numéro 6 - Roger Federer, 29 ans : 43 millions de dollars

Numéro 10 - Cristiano Ronaldo, 25 ans : 36 millions de dollars

Numéro 11 - Les Jonas Brothers (17, 20 et 22 ans) : 35,5 millions de dollars

Vacation in a bottle? It’s like the Holy Grail of beverages… but is it too good to be true?

Vacation in a Bottle — or ViB — is a non-alcoholic, lightly carbonated soft drink, sweetened with cane sugar (not corn syrup) and some sucralose, flavored with natural pomegranate and goji berry juices  (at least this first rendition, called “Chill-N,” is), and spiked with amino acids, vitamins, and other goodness designed to make it a healthy alternative to a Red Bull or other pick-me-up.

At just 60 calories in a 12-oz. can, it’s not too fattening, either.

While the smell is reminiscent of many any energy drink, the taste is much lighter, with faint berry notes (nothing I’d peg as specifically pomegranate) atop a moderately sweet core. The carbonation is very light, too, and overall it’s a very easy-to-drink (and arguably even relaxing) beverage. The only downside is a strongly chemical aftertaste, almost certainly a side-effect of the sucralose, which gives the whole affair a Tab-like finish. Kind of a bummer way to end your vacation in a bottle… but don’t all vacations end kind of badly anyway?

As a side note, the name begs the question… shouldn’t Vacation in a Bottle come in a bottle, not a can? [Update: The company says ViB will soon be available in bottles... which are pictured at right.]

B+ / $2.50 to $3.00 per 12-oz. can / drinkvib.com